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Confession of a fat chick: That Teacher

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Notice that lately R.A.G.E, The Star, has been pushing forward with their anti bully campaign. I think what they are doing is good but somehow people seem to think that it's something not relating to them.

Bullying comes in all forms, big or small, it does make an impact to the victim. They might even be scar from it forever. Some of us may be bullies to others. Heck I would be a liar if I said I never made any hurtful statements to anyone before.

Here is my story, I just want to put it out there. This is actually the start of my many other 'fat' moments in my life. Somehow people thinks that it is okay to tease or make fun of kids that are big. Until now I still get fat comments from random strangers about my size and honestly I just can't believe how shameless they are. Do you not know that it's actually hurtful? Guess it's just a culture or perspective to say what ever they want to random people without thinking how it might affect the other person.

This story is just to show that bullies come in all forms.
When I was a kid, my teacher was my biggest bully.




Growing up as a labelled fat chick has never been easy. Sometimes I wonder why people would like to make fun of others based on their looks. Especially kids or teenagers that are trying to find their identity.

It was the first year of primary school, I still remember that day clearly because it was the first time in my life I could remember that I was so embarrassed with myself and actually thought why shouldn't I be dead now? I was with my sister and my cousin at my aunty's house. My mom was running late to fetch us to school and lunch (porridge in those common rectangular transparent tupperware  have been packed for my sis and I. Mom was going to drop me at school while my sis would be drop of at kindergarten. I don't remember why I didn't eat my lunch before going to school. So I ended up putting the tupperware in my school bag. As a 7 year old I didn't know that I have to place my tupperware upright. I think I just chuck it in my bag because I didn't wanna be late for school. So my classmates and I gathered together at the assembly hall before we walked to our classroom with my homeroom teacher.

As we all sat at our assigned seats, the teacher told us to take out our textbook. When I open my bag, I noticed that the tupperware containing the porridge had overturn and my entire school bag was covered in porridge. I started to cry out loud and the teacher notice. She called me to the front of the class with my bag. She instructed me to unload everything from my bag and asked me to lay out everything in order for them to dry.

Everyday I would bring 6 packets of the cereal. 4 packets for the a group of girls, who I thought were my friends and 2 for me (yes I ate more than I should have when I was a kid). This continued until the porridge incident.

So back to the porridge incident. As I lay out all my stuff from my school bag, the teacher notice that I took out 6 boxes of fun size cereal. She was shocked and exclaimed, "oh my gosh is that all for you?" She said it in Mandarin. I was still crying when she asked. I didn't respond, I just wanted to finish laying out all of my stuff and get back to my seat. Because of my situation everyone was just waiting for me and I felt like I was a burden. So I did it as fast as I could. My teacher didn't help or made me feel any better. She started to 'act out' how fat I was by using her hands to show that I got a belly on her slim figure. She did it for 5 times while I was crying. After showing that I got a belly She started to show how wide I was side ways. She didn't say anything mean. But her actions was all that was needed to make me feel worthless and loose what little self confidence I had of myself. To make it worse, the entire class laughed by her actions. They couldn't stop laughing. It all seemed like a joke to them.

Once I finish laying out all of my books and stuff on the floor. The teacher asked me to go to the bathroom to rinse my bag. As I was rinsing, all four of my 'friends' came in. They just went to toilet and pretended that I wasn't there. As they were washing their hands, I said to them, 'later at recess we going to the cafeteria or sitting at the rocks (a hangout place at my school)?' They took a while to reply me. They looked at one another and they responded, did you bring anything for us? I said, "yes but they can't be eaten anymore because they are all drenched with porridge. They looked at one another and then reply me, "then you can't join us". After they said that they walked out of the toilet. I could hear their conversation as they left me, "I feel like she is lying to us. Did you see the entire pile of food that she had in her bag? Looking at her it must have been all hers". I just stayed in the toilet staring at my wet bag.

The rest of the day just went by quickly. 

I couldn't remember what happen next but I remember how much I hated that teacher for making me feel worthless in front of the whole class and I remember how I never spoke to the four girls again. To be honest I couldn't even remember their names or their faces. Though I am still upset of what have happen, forgetting the event was easy but the pain remain. Since then I never bought or ate fun sized cereal. Guess it reminded me of the horrible experience of knowing that there is a standard of beauty and I was the opposite of it, I was the fat chick.

Next time you want to say something, make sure you think about how it might affect the other person
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2 comments

  1. ):

    Don't worry! I LOVE YOUUUUUUUU

    ReplyDelete
  2. OMG ...
    The teacher is such a bitch/asshole ! Confront her now and tell her how shameful she was !

    ReplyDelete

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