PLOG: Without Pain, How Could We Know Joy?

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There is two more weeks left to my exams and about 4 more days to my 22nd birthday....

Just some random thoughts I want to share..
Read if you must but you don't have too :)

It's been a crazy 2014. From finding out that I got a lump in my stomach to my cancer scare (if you are wondering, you can read the entire hospital log of my journey here), taking a risk in new areas, joining a digital competition and even dealing with some drama. 

I would never have guess this would happen in 2014.  NEVER.

It's one thing to hear a friend or a family friend getting cancer but for yourself? Honestly it was a moment of shock I will never forget. The moment I heard it when the doctor told me the possibility, my heart sank and I couldn't breathe.

At that moment I thought, what was I doing for the pass 21 years of my life? The people surrounding me, giving me heartaches, tears and discomfort, were they really worth my time to just kept wondering why did they cause me so much pain? Honestly, I never gotten so much hate in my life before. People always say that high school is where the drama is but truthfully it's just follows those who never gotten contentment in life.

Thinking now on everything everyone said and called me, it was stupid of me to let it get the better of me. To reflect all of my anger and frustration to those who actually cared for me was just selfish of me. Made some choices during the process of everything and until now, I am not sure if they were the right choices.

But I just wanted to hide.

So when I heard about there was a possibility I could have gotten cancer, suddenly everything just seemed not so important anymore. Of course the bullying didn't stop there but hey, it just reminded me who were the ones I should value and keep close.

Did a LOT of reflecting in the hospital and to all those who was there for me and saw me at my worst, every word/message/call helped me. Sound damn depressing now right? Well that is really how thankful I am and it really did hurt me a lot during that period of time.

Even now, sometimes I find guilt when updating my blog because of some whispers I hear but who cares? The whispers of those who wonder but never cared are not worth listening to.

I guess turning a year, just thought me more on the value of friendship and valuing the right relationship.

I am an expert on life or whatever else you all may thing, but I am learning. I'm no longer afraid of others or the things they may thing of me, but I'm more afraid of not trying opportunities that come my way because of a few silly people that hurt me.

I don't know what else to say but I really do hope that the remaining 2014 and a year added to my body would be a wonderful next phase in my life. Adventures, new environment, first times, and more, may it be fill with much joy, positive attitudes, love, wisdom, kindness and goodness

Happy early 22nd birthday to me.

Sounds pathetic but hey, I won't trade all of this pain and fearful experiences I went through. All of the heartache and tears thought me a few things...
1. As we grow up, it seems that we learn to decide and choose who and what we want to value more or less.
2. Learn to filter the noises around us. 
3. You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you.

To those going through shit like that, as much as it hurts now to feel like you can rely on no one, just know that there is at least someone out there who really care for you and that they love you for who you are, no matter what. So don't go through it alone, there is always someone out there that cares for you.

That got me through and so did the other loves in my life :)

We can't please everyone
But what we can do is give our 100% in the our responsibilities & embrace the wonder of life.

Have a wonderful weekend ahead :)
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Jess is an adventurous Malaysian girl with a soft spot for food, shoes and all things romantic. She loves fashion and traveling too. Diversity excites her, therefore she would tend to try out everything she gets a chance to ✌ [It's Jessy] (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-03f5fetL2yM/VcjMybyGvRI/AAAAAAAAk_Q/HSNlhlRdbRI/s1600/11428132_938657246181010_1642264289_n.jpg)