Confession of an Awkward Girl: Dreams vs Reality

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It's been 13 days since new year and well I can honestly say that it's be a disappointing start of the year. Somehow or another, everything feels like it's no different as how I was when I was 16. Sure there are big changes like I can finally drive or I am at my final year in university. It's just that, some how when I was 16, I thought that by 21 I would be that cool chick that I have always admire from all of the tv shows and movies.

Guess media played a big part in my life, I am Gen Y after all :P Hahaha. I guess that is the difference of dreams and reality.

I still remember when I was 16, I actually came out with a list of how I should be like when I am 21. Yes I am such a dork. But hey, it sorta kept me dreaming and trying to turn them into reality. What are some of the stuff that my past self listed for the 21 me? 

1. Have a boyfriend
Nobody wants to be lonely right? Somehow life is always better to know that someone would be next to you through out all of all of the good and bad moments.

2. Be independent and move out from the house 
Not sure about you all but didn't you watch all of the american kids moving out of their houses when they turn 18? I must have been crazy to think that I could survive without my parents support. Sometimes I wonder how dumb or naive can I be. haha.

3. Have enough money to set a down payment for a house
Thinking back, I really laughed on this one. Did I really not know how much is a down payment for a house when I was 16? haha.

4. Cook like a pro
Pfft, tried that at 18 and failed miserably. Never had so many diarrhea in my life before. Lesson learn: Leave cooking to those who can actually cook.

5. Have a car under my name
I sort of got this. Well 50/50 to be exact la. I got a car but it ain't under my name. Actually just getting a car was already a blessing. Can't believe that I used to tell everyone my first car would be purchase by myself and it would be a mini cooper. Talk about a girl without any common sense :)
Somehow I wish that I had an older sibling or something to knock me back to reality when I was 16. Been always dreaming about how I would be like in college, university and etc. Looking at where I am now can be sort of disappointing. I  am 22 this year but what have I achieve that have impacted others? Did I help anyone with anything that I am doing? Is this going to be how I am in the next 10 years?

A friend of mine asked me this on the first week of Jan. He asked me, where do I see myself in 5 years. If he were to asked me that when I was 16, I would have brag about all of the things my future self would achieve...blah blah blah. But now at 22, thinking of how I would be like when I am 27? What would I have become?

What I know now is that, I wish I could have told the 16 year old me some stuff I wish someone older told me...

1. Crying is unavoidable
At 22 you will cry and embarrassed yourself in public. You're human, not some perfect robot. Stuff happen and well you just gotta let it all out.

2. Money is precious, START saving now
I know it's hard to save with the RM15 you get a week but if you don't learn how to save with that little amount of money, how can you save when you have RM1000? Even RM1 a week is good enough. Safe and DON'T EVER TOUCH IT. I know some dress, top or necklace would tempt you but it would be worth it on a rainy day.

3. People can be mean in all ages
You thought that people creating drama is only in high school? Sorry to burst your buble but it is not going to change. Even at university you will get some drama with your friends. Just face it head on. If it is your fault apologize. If not, now you know what kind of person that friend is. 

4. Fat jokes will never go away
Sometimes others really have no clue how hurtful some of the things they may say. Guess if you want them to stop then go exercise! Stop staring at the computer all day long! hahaha.

5. Do what you like, don't let others tell you otherwise
You know that you got a lot to say and well, don't hide them. You will never know how others would react to the real you if you never show them. And if some tell you to act like how they act, just ignore them. You are who you are and you don't have to change yourself to fit someone's preference :)

6. Driving is actually tiring
I know how you been asking your parents to always let you drive at 16 ( thank god they didn't), actually at 22 I wish someone could actually drive me around. It ain't fun being stuck in traffic for 2 whole hours with no one next to you but your radio. Jacq says I must be going crazy for always talking back at the radio or at the cars around me. hahaha.

7. STUDY hard! Every second counts.
Don't regret if you didn't achieve what you wanted. Study hard and colleges would actually give you scholarship for your results, that is if it's good la. Don't stop at SPM and continue on in college. Keep on studying and don't let people distract you. In the end of the day, it is your future and not your friends. Don't regret :)

Despite all of that depressing and nagging points, being 22 is actually not bad.

8. There would be those that love you to bits and pieces
Though going through so many transitions can be scary. There are those who would be there for you. Those that would love you for who you are and tell you that they miss you. No matter how nagy you may be at telling them about your day, they will still listen to you. Keep those friends close and don't let go of them. You would have gone insane without them. haha. Don't forget about family too. I know they can be difficult at times but no matter how horrible you might have been to them, they would still love you. They want the best for you and nothing more. Sure they might show their love in a different way and sometimes it may seem like an insult to you but just know that everyone perceive things differently and learn to be thankful for what you have now :)

9. KL would be at the back of your head
Well, you would know the ins and outs of KL. Sounds hard to believe right? Well you would be travelling to KL as often as you go to church... Be ready to top up that touch and go because tolls would be your bff in KL.

10. Free stuff always come along your way
I know this is weird but somehow or another you are really lucky la. Out of 5 contest that you enter, you would actually win 1. Sounds so surreal right? But I guess there is no harm in trying or being witty at those sentence contest forms like, "I want to win this because......." Be creative and don't be afraid at trying new things! You will never know what may come as a result from it.

After writing all of this, somehow I guess I am too fast to judge 2014. For now, I guess I will work hard at internship, no matter how different it may be from my perception. It is after all a stepping stone to the real world. I guess sometimes different can be scary and that intimidates people. Somehow I feel like I am the only one that thinks too much. Haihs. Oh wells, here is to a  B O L D  and C O U R A G E O U S  2014!

Enough dreaming, time to set reality :)
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It's Jessy

Jess is an adventurous Malaysian girl with a soft spot for food, shoes and all things romantic. She loves fashion and traveling too. Diversity excites her, therefore she would tend to try out everything she gets a chance to ✌

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Jess is an adventurous Malaysian girl with a soft spot for food, shoes and all things romantic. She loves fashion and traveling too. Diversity excites her, therefore she would tend to try out everything she gets a chance to ✌ [It's Jessy] (http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-03f5fetL2yM/VcjMybyGvRI/AAAAAAAAk_Q/HSNlhlRdbRI/s1600/11428132_938657246181010_1642264289_n.jpg)